Burrito Quest: Week Eleven

Monday, April 6, 2009

Week Eleven

Big Red
"Fuck. This was. . . fuck. It was kind of a vaguely disappointing disaster. The meat was flavorless and indistinct. It might have been pork. It might have been chicken. Who knows? The beans were excessive, and smeared together to make the whole burrito taste like a bad bean burrito. The potatoes were mushy and also indistinct. It might have been beans. It might have been potato. Who knows? All in all, kind of lame and sad, but also basic and a staple. I'd love this burrito if I had previously drunk four beers. Also, [Isaac] showed up drunk, hit me, tried to throw sugary popcorn at the diabetic dog, and went around the house looking for gay Mexicans he could watch Twilight with. Solid 3." - Ben

Ingredients: Red Chile Pork, Beans, Cheese

Ratings:
Ben - 4 beers before I really like this burrito.
Daniel - Driving home from work; I'm not at work, but I'm commuting, right there in the middle.
Isaac - Afternoon Delight, it's unexpected even though it's what you do every night...or morning.

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Burrito Quest is all about...stamina. We (Ben, Isaac, and Daniel) ate our way through the Specialty Burrito menu at Santa Fe Grill, a fast food eatery located inside Pic Quik convenience stores in Las Cruces, New Mexco. This list is a good 60 burritos long, and it took us all of 2009, and a quarter of 2010.

Along the way we met and (we like to think) befriended a burristro who we named Salsa Bro. Toward the end of our quest, Salsa Bro was unceremoniously fired for, rumor has it, giving free burritos to pretty ladies. What man wouldn't, we ask you?

And so, our primary quest finished, we pushed on, searching the Land of Burritos (Las Cruces, NM burrito-serving establishments) for our old friend. Alas, though we searched wherever one would hope to find a Burrito Maestro handing out free burritos to hot chicks, he was not to be found.

But primary failure did not stop us. There were still burritos to be had, and to have our way with. Burritos HOOOOOO! We picked up the pace a bit, embarking on BQ3: Triple Trek! Flipping back and forth, hitting up establishments only open at lunch, frequenting Mesilla burrito-holes, and interspersing them both with palate-cleansing Taco Bell. Did we survive? Yes. The Quest, however, we failed.

And so a new quest begins. Ben, now making his home in the land of vegetarianism, invites Daniel to take a journey through this magical bowel-cleansing realm. Together they set out on a bold new endeavor, to eat burritos of the meatless kind. One vegan, one meatan(?), the walk a lonely road: Twelve Vegetarian Burritos for 2012!