Events Conspire

Daniel became some kind of dad to twins.  Isaac is moving to Santa Fe.  Ben hates Christmas.  Burrito Quest is on hiatus!

Los Compas - Chicharron and Chile Relleno

Los Compas surprised us with a very tasty burrito.  On a scale of Green Burrito to Las Trancas it turned out to be a solid Miguel's.  The side of nachos we got turned out to be more typical of Los Compas food; kind of dull and greasy.  Some news, Isaac will be departing to quest in the north...of New Mexico.  What will happen to our quest?  Stay tuned!  Daniel is pretty sure that he can win BabyQuest against his offspring.  Ben can't figure his meat out.  With our limited time left, before Daniel's children arrive and Isaac departs for northern climes, we decide to make a list of places we really want to hit.  Will it happen?  Also, Daniel and Isaac are douches for not remembering Ben's vow to eat dog food.  Dammit!

Ingredients - Chicharrones, Chile Relleno, Beans, and Cheese

Ratings:
Ben - Bungie cords, the kind you strap things down with, sometimes I forget about them, then I open up a bag and I'm like "hey, I've got some bungie cords, I should do something with these."
Daniel - Chuck Norris's Lone Wolf McQuade, when I saw it as a kid I thought it was badass, does not hold up over time.  I suspect if we ate this burrito again it would not be as good.
Isaac - Pringles, not as good as Doritos, but still pretty good.

BQ2 - Episode Twenty-Six

Delicias - Chicharron/Picadillo Burritos

Thrown by our previous experiences with small burros, we order up two burritos when we see the $3 price tag on these bad boys.  The chicharron burrito paled in comparison to Las Trancas.  In truth it would have been hard pressed to match that exemplar of a burrito.  But it did not even come close.  The fried pig skin was slimy and soft, in a spicy tomato sauce redolent of the lengua burrito from Burritos Victoria.  Delicias used to be a place for cheap Chinese food (at which Daniel worked only one night washing dishes) and the comparison of the chicharrones to Kung Pao chicken inevitably crops up.  Ben resorts to eating his with each bite followed by a swig of soda, as if swallowing slimy pig skin pills.  The picadillo, by comparison, was pretty good...but only by comparison.  It was only ground beef and pico de gallo; kind of dry and much in need of salsa.  There is much discussion of the upcoming Mesilla Trek.  Also, if there's anyone out there who wants to recommend a burrito we should try (thanks, Tracy!) we will seriously consider it.  Ben commits (kind of) to eating a dog food burrito.  We are dubious about his devotion to the quest.

Ingredients - Chicharrones and Spicy Tomato Sauce/Ground Beef and Pico de Gallo

Ratings:
Ben - Brontosaurus, they didn't exist but for a while we thought they did.  It casts doubt about the existence of any dinosaurs.
Daniel - Dinty Moore Beef Stew, it looks good at first, then your stomach hurts.
Isaac - Finding out velociraptors had feathers.  It's like a giant peacock chasing after you.  They're still scary but not nearly as scary.

BQ2 - Episode Twenty-Five

Spanish Kitchen - Green Chile Con Carne Burrito

Another small burrito.  Daniel asked if the burritos were good sized and was answered in the affirmative.  If you ate three all by yourself that may be true.  Spanish Kitchen rivals Princess Tacos for age, as it's been around for 60 years.  Obviously they haven't learned how to properly satiate Burrito Questers in all that time.  The burritos were floppy and small, but at least the tortillas were homemade and tasty.  A disappointment with a hint of faded glory.  The salsa was damn spicy, and completely pureed with no hint of solid food left within it.  We discuss Honorable Bill's love of ordering the Big Dick (actually called the Jumbo Burger) from Dick's Cafe.  The conversation completely derails after that into, yeah, you guessed it.

Ingredients - Pork, Green Chile

Ratings:
Ben - You know how you suddenly realize, like, little bitty Earth, big big space,and in some ways that's really stunning and awe-inspiring and in other ways it's like, holy crap that's meaningless.  I'm thinking that second one; depressing.
Daniel -Dehydrated camping food, like powered eggs or something.  At first it's cool cause it's like what the astronauts eat, then you realize it's not very good.
Isaac - Pluto, the former planet, it's no longer a planet.  As a New Mexican I feel obligated to like it, but overall it's ok.

BQ2 - Episode Twenty-Four

Mi Pueblito - Steak Mexicana Burrito

Mi Pueblito was a joint we weren't sure was open late enough for us to hit up on a Monday night.  "Now Open Till 7pm" however!  The burrito was decent, but became better when we spooned Mi Pueblito's chile con queso upon it.  It was small, though.  We're finding more and more that a lot of these places sell burritos as something expected to be accompanied with beans and rice; not a meal in and of itself.  We discuss our douchebaggery in ordering the most expensive of the burritos that are under $4.  Isaac teaches us the magical prison lingo that is kiester.  For instance, Daniel once got kiestered during a proctology exam.  Also, Jenni has a weird puppet.

Ingredients - Steak, Jalapenos, Tomatoes, and Onions

Ratings:
Ben - The trailer for Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.  I never saw the movie.  That trailer was ok.  I really like trailers, though.
Daniel - My first experience with Pac-Man.  I had no idea what it was when my brother told me we got it for the Atari.  I thought it was going to be about some guy with a backpack, and it was kind of weird at first but it got better.
Isaac - Jango Fett, not nearly as cool as Boba, but at then end of the day he's still a dude running around shooting people with a jetpack.

BQ2 - Episode Twenty-Three

Burritos Victoria - Lengua (Tongue)/Bistec (Steak) Burritos

The Questers redeem their Los Tacos Mexicanos debacle and eat the lengua!  We also eat a backup bistec burrito as well.  A small moment of weakness, the backup, it made for an overall very filling and kind of appealing meal.  All in all, the tongue was decent but with kind of a weird texture.  The steak burrito was just ok, but greatly improved by the salsa.  Ben freaks out at the thought that maybe he is eating is own tongue.  Isaac tries not to think about eating tongue while he's eating tongue.  Daniel just powers through.  We also talk a bit about trying to have a last Burrito Quest with alumnus $teve.  Yeah, that didn't happen.

Ingredients: Tongue, Spicy Tomato Sauce, Onion/Steak, Green Chile, Onion

Ratings:
Ben - Car accident, that only involves a semi-truck full of produce and everyone is ok, and there's onions all over the road.  You get a lot onions on the highway for your buck.
Daniel - Testing your smoke alarms with earplugs in.  It's a lot better than without.
Isaac - Chihuahuas, I don't like them.  When they breed with other dogs they're ok, but mostly I don't like chihuahuas.

BQ2 - Episode Twenty-Two

Chachi's - Chile con Carne Burrito (smothered in Chile con Queso)

Dogs hate Burrito Quest.  We've only just begun when Ben's dogs go bananas.  After a brief pause...  Chachi's!  Wherein we discover that banado does not mean banjo.  But it does mean smothered, which you would think we, experts that we are, would be aware of when we order "chile con carne, not the banado, but smothered."  Pinche gueros!  Also, while we did not find Salsa Bro, we did find the elusive burrito establishment that delivers.  Of course we discover this after we were already there.  Ben is disappointed that these burritos were not brought right to his door by someone who is not on this quest.  Daniel bitches a lot about the spiciness.  Isaac talks about manual stimulation way too much.  All in all, a hearty, spicy, tasty burrito.

Ingredients - Pork, Green Chile, Smothered in Chile con Queso

Ratings:
Ben - Watermelons, green watermelons, eating watermelons, it's always better than I thought it was going to be.
Daniel - McFarlane-era Spider-man, I was so excited when he was drawing Spider-man, I really liked it.
Isaac - Snoop Dogg, he's not the best rapper in the world, but he's consistently good.

BQ2 - Episode Twenty-One

Chilitos - Chile Relleno Burrito

Chilitos, home of mostly mediocre food and an exceptional patio.  The relleno was flavorful but the salty beans detracted from it heavily.  Ben regales us with tales of Unburritable, somewhere in Nebraska, where he solo quested while we were getting depressed with our repeat of Green Burrito.  Ben, when momentarily distracted by Bad Dudes, completely forgets the rating he had started spouting only moments before.  Isaac likes a hillbilly workout.  Shit talking flies fast and free here on Burrito Quest!

Ingredients - Chile Relleno, Beans, and Cheese

Ratings
Ben - Soda can that you forgot about, for just a little while.  Or maybe a chicken sandwich at Farleys...
Daniel - Bad Dudes, the video game.  I liked Altered Beast a lot better.  Fuck you, Isaac!
Isaac - Working out on conventional and unexciting workout equipment, when there's all sorts of other things you can do like hitting tires with sledgehammers, or karate.

BQ2 - Episode Twenty

Green Burrito - Carne Asada Burrito

With Ben unavailable we decide to embark on our first repeat visit of Burrito Quest 2.  This burrito was cursed from the get go.  They took forever to make, then the bag ripped when Daniel was carrying it into the house and the burritos fell into the street.  Luckily the wrappings stayed intact and this lousy recording got made.  The burrito tasted salty and processed.  Also, some of them were less than warm and needed reheating.  Bigger and more filling than our first trip to Green Burrito, the price was still not worth it.  We actually have guests again, and though they immediately regret it, Alex and Tony did the best they could to stand in for Ben.  Speaking of Ben, he catches a lot more shit than usual, which about right given that he wasn't present.  But really, he's the lucky one.  All in all a very depressing episode.

Ingredients - "Grilled steak, freshly made salsa, guacamole, and jack and cheddar cheeses wrapped in a flour tortilla"

Ratings:
Daniel - Ben having to hang out in Nebraska watching old people play Yahtzee, the opposite of fun.
Isaac - When my dog eats cat crap, I think it's hilarious at first, then he licks me in the face.
Alex - Very regretful, I should have stayed home.
Tony - It should have been Taco Bell.


BQ2 - Episode Nineteen

Si Senor Express - Green Chile Meat Burrito

We let Ben pick which burrito to get from his favorite restaurant.  He chose Red Chile Meat.  He was denied.  We made the mistake of asking if there was green chile in the bean burritos before then ordering red chile meat burritos.  Confusion reigned!  Si Senor, whatever else you say about it, is generous with their chips and dips (you get four dips: bean dip, a spicy sour cream dip, green chile salsa, and red chile salsa).  The burrito was resoundingly mediocre with much ado about saltiness.  Ben bravely defends Si Senor despite this mediocrity.  Daniel waffles a little in his dislike, approving of their chips, dips, and beer.  Isaac thinks no one thinks we are funny.  We lament our weakness when faced with tongue burritos last time and weakly commit to one day make up for our failure. 

Ingredients - Green Chile and Pork

Ratings:
Ben - Graduating from college, it's like 'go get a job; pay these bills"; you get some good things out of it but...
Daniel - Minivans, useful but not what I would choose to drive.
Isaac - When a superhero dies then comes back to life, the death can make a comic book interesting, but that is immediately nullified when they come back to life.

BQ2 - Episode Eighteen

Las Trancas - Chicarron Burrito

We figure that las trancas means "the horses" based on their menu, and the general decor within the restaurant.  Online research does not support this theory.  The best the googles could come up with is "the bars" or something relating to getting drunk.  This may make this establishment even more desirable.  Of course there could be some slang going on that we, as gueros, do not understand.  Chicharrones we understand, however, and find delicious at a rate of approximately 33% to 66%.  Think pork rinds, only more freshly skinned off the pig and fried.   Daniel fawns all over this burrito, despite the red chile which he feels is generally inferior to green chile.  Ben is bewildered as he has never consumed pork rinds, despite undertaking Atkins several times, and so has little point of reference.  The chicharrones remind Isaac of Honeycombs, the cereal.

Ingredients - Chicharrones, Beans, and Red Chile

Ratings:
Ben - Rocket boots, with tassels on them.  The burrito was good, but the texture was a little bit disturbing.
Daniel - Thundarr the Barbarian, an 80s cartoon, it had a yeti guy called Ookla the Mok that ran around with him, it was badass.
Isaac - Tab cola, I just don't know what to say about it, it perplexes me.

BQ2 - Episode Seventeen

Los Tacos Mexicanos - Cabesa (Beef Cheek) Burritos

To be honest, Los Tacos Mexicanos does offer tongue (lengua) burritos.  We just couldn't pull the trigger.  Ben had enough trouble pushing aside the thought that he was eating cheek.  We stand by our decision.  Los Tacos Mexicanos offers five or six types of meat, which they will then stuff into tacos, burritos, tortas, and what have you.  The beef cheek was obviously slow cooked in its own juices.  And if those juices weren't comprised of grease before cooking, then they added a fair bit.  Promising at first, with a hint of good flavor in the background, but overcome by fattiness.  Daniel would vote this establishment as perhaps the first repeat for BQ2, just to see if the promise could be born out by a better meat.  We ask an age-old question: What would you do if you found a tooth in your burrito?  Also, poop jokes.  And too much discussion about bean dip.

Ingredients: Beef Cheek, Onion, Cilantro

Ratings:
Ben - Monopoly, the board game, playing that game involves an enthusiasm that changes into hatred.
Daniel - Dryer lint, it's a waste product, and is the product of something greater.
Isaac - Hot air balloons, they're a novel aircraft but pretty boring.
Jenni - Shitty bean dip ball pit, like going to Chuck E. Cheese and jumping into the ball pit to find it is full of bean dip.

BQ2 - Episode Sixteen

Nopalito's - Green Chile Meat Burrito

Nopalito's was reviewed for a Road Food segment of Splendid Table.  Daniel heard the segment and was boggled at how much the food was raved about.  The burritos are tiny.  Teeny-tiny.  Extra nachos were purchased on a whim and boy was that a good idea.  Tasty, but so small as to be aggravating in it's lack of satiety, the burrito suffers greatly  for it.  The salsa (two varieties of which were provided) was rich and spicy.  The nachos were mediocre.  If this meal had been consumed in-restaurant the addition of chips of salsa would likely have helped.  All in all, the taste was pretty good but the amount was ridiculously unsatisfying.  This is most apparent when we forget it even tasted good by the end of the episode.  Ben wishes there were burrito delivery places.  Isaac and Daniel don't care.  They want tongue burritos.  Yeah, that's a thing.  And not some kind of sex act.  Weirdos.

Ingredients: Green Chile, Pork, Beans, and Cheese

Ratings:
Ben - Laundry, it can be a pretty good thing but our dryer doesn't work very well and sometimes you open it and have damp clothes.  I should probably just
Daniel - A dictionary, as inspiring as reading one.  What if the only thing to read in the house was the dictionary?
Isaac - Wet socks, you know, you dry your socks and even after they are still damp and then you walk around and your feet are slightly cold.

BQ2 - Episode Fifteen

Chabela's - Chile Relleno Burrito

Chabela's used to be another restaurant, also Mexican.  It is still a Mexican place, only under another name, so you would think they'd know what a chicharrone was.  Apparently, no.  The relleno had heat (a plus) but the breading was typically soggy (a minus).  In all fairness, keeping breading crispy when wrapped up in a tortilla is a difficult feat.  The taste and heat of the chile elevate this to 'pretty good' territory, without it though it would likely sit firmly with the 'mediocre' tier.  Our history comes back on us as we diverge almost immediately into talking about burritos from Santa Fe Grill.  But we are consummate amateurs and get back on topic eventually.  Of course, that mostly results in us complaining about the burrito crapping its ingredients all over the place; a common occurrence with refried beans as an ingredient.  We also bitch more about the same shit as last time.  Enjoy!

Ingredients - Relleno, Beans, and Cheese

Ratings:
Ben - Sledgehammer, I really like sledgehammers, I don't know if a sledgehammer is a real practical hammer all the time, but if I had one I would show it to people.
Daniel - A digital camera, I like them when they are conveniently small, not when big and bulky.
Isaac - Shotguns, shotguns are good, they're a terrific standby, but sometimes they are not the coolest, and I think everyone should have a shotgun.

BQ2 - Episode Fourteen

Taqueria Chavez - Carne Asada Super Burrito

Our first taco truck burrito experience.  A bit on the dry side, they are pretty tasty with ingredients we rarely see in other burritos.  Not that their not in there, we just can't make them out from the general mush.  Lesson one for taco trucks, if you visit them after their busy time (read: probably lunch) they may be out of some of their food products.  As a result we ponder what 'al pastor' means.  Turns out it means "Shepherd Style", which we would imagine relates to something dirtier.  In burrito news, Princess Tacos, the oldest establishment our quest has visited, has apparently closed down.  It is a sad day for sketchy food establishments.  We wonder whether people like this bullshit enough to actually contribute money to buy burritos.  We may never know.  Also, we are rapidly running out of burrito establishments that are a) open after 6 and b) open on Monday.  We see Saturday burrito lunches and/or breakfasts in our future. 

Ingredients - Carne Asada, Lettuce, Onions, Rice, Cilantro, and Salsa.

Ratings:
Ben - Free couch, I liked getting a free couch at one time, but now that I can get my own couch I don't want anymore couches.
Daniel - A Big Wheel, for some reason it's a little nostalgic, then the tire splits and it all kind of falls apart.
Isaac - A chair, it's about that exciting, but it serves a really good purpose.

BQ2 - Episode Thirteen

Alice the Burrito Lady - Red Chile/Green Chile Burritos

Our first guest in some time, Jenni joins us for these footlong burritos.  Tasty, big, and cheap, we can see why this place was able to expand out of Canutillo into the surrounding market.  The construction was mildly disappointing as it made for a mess, but the homemade tortillas made up for it.  Two good burritos in a row; if this keeps up we shudder at the eventual burrito-tastrophe.  This sparks a conversation about why at least one of us generally found more faults in more of Santa Fe Grill's burritos.  We discuss the blog's 'spike' in traffic after Isaac posted a link on Facebook.  Also the comment from The Hot Sluts.  Thanks for the interest, The Hot Sluts, and keep the "hard" questions coming.

Ingredients: Red Chile, Beef, Potato, Beans, and Cheese/Green Chile, Pork, Potato, Beans, and Cheese

Ratings:
Ben - Stacks of tiles at hardware stores, where you think 'You know I could tile something with those' and then you don't.  Wistful.
Daniel - Having a robot in your pocket.  But a smartphone, not a real person-shaped robot.
Isaac - Bears, brown or tie-dye, they're pretty badass, and high-quality apex predators.
Jenni - Book burning, satisfying, but I kind of regret doing it.

BQ2 - Episode Twelve

Miguel's - Green Chile Pork Burrito

One might say that one could throw a rock in this town and hit a burrito place.  The resulting burrito, in this case, might just be delicious.  Miguel's is some small place that none of us had ever heard of, and that provided us burritos when Go Burger failed us with it's breakfast/lunch only service hours.  Good on ya, Miguel's!  A tasty, spicy burrito, they also serve up some tasty, kind of vinegar-based salsa.  And they are apparently open 24 hours-a-day (but only on the weekend).  Burrito Quest enthusiastically recommends!  Also, the quest goes international as a random web hit from Brazil excites us all.  We doubt it is Shakira, or even that she's Brazilian.  We wonder whether burrito lovers would appreciate a burrito automat.  Daniel relates a story about a fish burrito with coleslaw he had in Tucson.

Ingredients: Pork, Green Chile

Ratings:
Ben - Giant squid, they're kind of remote...giant tentacles, they're really smart and can control technology and fight whales; I like giant squid, who doesn't?
Daniel - Drinking beer on the porch in the summertime, in the evening, I like the simplicity and the flavorfulness.
Isaac - Cadbury egg, they're pretty good but there's bad things about them too.

BQ2 - Episode Eleven

Roberto's - Burrito Banadero/Potato Burrito

Well, last week was a bust.  The hiatus went on longer than any of us wanted.  There was a slim chance for a breakfast burrito from a donut place, but no.  Instead we come back at ya with a quest to a Las Cruces landmark(?).  Roberto's has been providing cheap Mexican food to the masses since, well, a long time.  And they are renowned for making the world's biggest enchilada.  We wish they were renowned for making the world's most delicious burrito.  This is not the case.  All in all what they really excel at is making cheap, mediocre Mexican food.  The banadero was a bit spicy and tasty, and the potato burrito was bland as hell.  Eating both of them back to back was somewhat like a throwback to the uneven burritos of OBQ, when all the potatoes would get jammed on one side of the burrito; it would start out great and get awful by the end.  Isaac tries to bait Ben into making racist comments.  We all decide a little more ethnicity is needed back on the quest.

Ingredients: Banadero - Green Chile, Beef, Cheese, and smothered with Green Chile sauce; Potato Burrito - Potatoes.  Yeah, just potatoes.

Ratings:
Ben - Someone else's dog, you get to meet a dog, and see it, and you think, "This is a cool dog," and then it goes away.  The potato one though, used napkins, someone else used them, and you have to clean them up.
Daniel - Instant mashed potatoes, for both burritos together, I used to eat them with bread after high school while watching Star Trek, kind of a nostalgic memory, but the reality is not that great.
Isaac -Thanksgiving, for the first burrito, because I'm thankful it's not the second burrito.

BQ2 - Episode Ten

Hiatus Schmiatus

So we're on break again.  We had hoped to be able to cram a burrito into the beginning of last week, but alas, this was not to be.  So let's talk about t-shirts instead.

I got the first one in the mail last week and it looked like ass.  The orange colors completely washed out Ben's face and there were other color/contrast issues as well.  Before I could warn folks about it, Ben and Sage both ordered shirts.  Their's were fine.  Or better, anyway.  I put in for a replacement and should have it soon.  So the link is back up in the merchandise post.  Buy t-shirts for everyone you know!

Next week, burritos or bust.
-Daniel

Hiebert's - Steak Finger Burrito

Oh, Hiebert's, we had such high hopes for you.  This burrito is apparently misnamed.  One would think that Steak Finger Burrito would mean a burrito filled with steak fingers.  One would be incorrect.  Instead, we got a burrito filled with steak, without batter of any kind.  Disappointment abounds!  And it tastes like Hamburger Helper.  Behold, Ben wears a Burrito Quest shirt featuring himself as he quests!  It is a magical thing.

Ingredients: Steak, Green Chile, and Cheese

Ratings:
Ben - Forgetting to put the trash can out on trash day.
Daniel - Henry Weinhard's Private Reserve, if I didn't know any better I'd say it's really good.
Isaac -Cat or dog food, you look at it and think "That looks good" then you pick it up and put it in your mouth and it's not good.  I end up feeling just a little confused and stupid.

BQ2 - Episode Nine

Burrito Quest '09 - The Merchandise

Now you too can wear Ben's face on your chest, for all the world to see!  Or see it smiling back at you as you wake up with your morning coffee!  Proclaim your approval of this sacred quest!  Buy now!

Buy a T-Shirt!

Buy A Mug!

Take note, if you'd like a different style and/or color of either (including baby jumpers and beer steins), there are about a billion options to the right on the Zazzle page.

Pepe's Chicken - Grilled Chicken / Pork Adobado

Pepe's Chicken is not strictly a burrito place, and it shows in their burrito construction.  They essentially just roll the ingredients up and throw it in some foil.  They make up for that with fresh and tasty ingredients.  Well, 50% tasty.  Not that the chicken was bad, just a little bland.  They also have a multi-salsa bar to which we helped ourselves to two delicious (and spicy) salsas, one bland salsa, some pico de gallo, and limes.  It turns out we may have fans, in Colorado and Alabama.  Who knew?  What's up Johnny and Jenny!  Ben argues that we should argue more, like we did in OBQ (Original Burrito Quest).  Isaac and Daniel argue the counterpoint.  No one wins, not even the listener.  We all agree that this recording may have been funnier if Isaac had slammed 5 beers before it rather than after.

Ingredients: Grilled Chicken - chicken, lettuce, tomato; Pork Adobado - pork, lettuce

Ratings:
Ben - Mismatched dishes, you know, like bachelor dishes.  They're kind of eclectic.
Daniel - Johnny Suaro, at his wife's 30th birthday party, answering his 2-year-old son's offer of cake: "No thanks, Daddy's having liquid cake."  Good one.
Isaac - Chicken - a tire, about as exciting as that; Pork - a dirtbike, very exciting.

BQ2 - Episode Eight

Princess Tacos - Meat & Red/Green Chile

Princess Tacos has apparently been around since 1952.  It's a run down little drive-in that never looks like it's open but sometimes is.  The burritos are small, greasy, and cheap.  We went for two burritos each, one red chile and one green chile, based both on the hiatus from last week, and the small size.  The flavor isn't bad but man, this is the kind of place where you sort of expect to get food poisoning and are mildly surprised when you don't.  We'll let know how that works out next time.

Ingredients: Meat and Chile (Red or Green)

Ratings:
Ben - Counter pizza, pizza that you left on the counter then eat again a few days later.
Daniel - Finding a free ball cap in the casino in Vegas, kinda sketchy, and smelly, but it's a free cap.
Isaac - Monte Carlo, the car, it's a classic, it's authentic but a little sketchy.

BQ2 - Episode Seven

Habaneros - Macho Chimichanga

Lordy Bagordy!  The biggest burrito we have ever seen.  Daniel's brother once ate a two-pound burrito to win a t-shirt.  This is about the same size burrito, only we don't get prizes.  Habaneros is a drive-in that used to be a Sonic or something long ago.  We were drawn to it by one its signs proclaiming "King Burrito."  Turns out that's what they call all of their burritos.  Not really a chimichanga, as it would likely be impossible to fry this log without it falling apart, but still a tasty burrito.  At least for the first third of it.  A word of advice: If you commit yourself to eating all of this monstrosity, do it quickly, before your stomach can signal your brain to protest.  The fact that none of us vomited after eating this thing may only be due to our training; consume at your own risk!

Ingredients: Beef, Chicken, Rice, Beans, Cheese, Red or Green Chile, Guacamole, and Sour Cream

Ratings:
Ben - Spandex, in theory is an awesome thing, but not in practice.
Daniel - A Great Old One, so big as to be unmanageable but also intriguing.
Isaac - A nuclear bomb, the concept is amazing, but in reality it's pretty awful.

BQ2 - Episode Six

Green Burrito - Beef, Bean, & Cheese

Another chain fast-food burrito so quickly...not so good.  Green Burrito was a chain that was bought by Carl's Jr.  The association, as far as we can tell, may have downgraded the quality of this food.  That's if they were ever good in the first place, which, if not, then how'd they get snatched up by a national chain?  Ben nails it on the head with his description of it as a microwave convenience-store burrito.  Also, the salsa pretty much just tasted like sugar.  Looking at their website some of the burritos look pretty tasty.  We may never find out if that is true.  Fearing the burritos may not be hefty enough we picked up some little Crisp Burritos to go with the main course.  They were not much better.

Ingredients: "Seasoned ground beef, refried beans, jack and cheddar cheeses, and hot sauce wrapped in a flour tortilla"

Ratings:
Ben - Bathroom sink backing up, cause then your realize the sink is connected to the toilet.
Daniel - Whacking yourself in the nuts while doing yard work.
Isaac - A coma, and not knowing whether you are going to wake or not.
+Crisp Burritos - The tail end of an allergy attack, blisters, closing your fingers in the door

BQ2 - Episode Five

Sonic - Super Sonic Breakfast Burrito

The first of our, "maybe you don't want to go here for burritos" burritos.  Sub-par tortilla wrapped around ingredients that tasted like they were manufactured to taste good, but somehow didn't.  The jalapeños were likely the high point of the whole thing.  We were so excited about the super special ingredient in this burrito (tater tots, that is) that a mountain of tater tots was purchased along with the burritos.  Behold, as Isaac stuffs his mouth with an astounding 21 tater tots!

Ingredients: "Savory Sausage, Scrambled Egg, Melty Cheese, Tater Tots, Diced Onions, Ripe Tomatoes and Spicy Jalapeños"

Ratings:
Ben - Accidentally running a red light, but there are no cops around.
Daniel - Reading a wikipedia article to keep from being bored at work, it's better than falling asleep at your desk.
Isaac - Wet cardboard, it's about that exciting.
+Tots - Tummy ache, Like watching a man put 22 tots in his mouth, Going to see an unimpressive national monument


BQ2 - Episode Four